where has all the kindness gone?

So lately I've noticed that general kindness and goodwill isn't as apparent as I wish it were between people in general.  I guess I have to wait til Christmas to get me some.  Recently I've had people, who are very close to me, complain of instances where they were berated/yelled at/humiliated for prolonged periods of time by someone AT CHURCH in front of others.  I'm not just talking about some social slight either- we're talking: getting screamed at for an hour or more.

Are you kidding me????

 I mean, it's one thing if you have a fight with a friend/someone in the privacy of your own home (tho I still think that's weird), but really?  at church?

Call me crazy but I was encouraged to avoid conflict at all cost-even if I was mad/wanted to give them a piece of my mind.  I hold it in, say what I know I should say and then complain to code when I go home.  Some may say, well that's fake.  No, that's called being polite/having manners.  It takes self control and trying to rise above petty temporary emotions.

I feel like this kind of thing happens as someone's anger level builds over all of these perceived slights (that most likely aren't real) and then they lose it on someone.  Let's give people the benefit of the doubt.  I honestly feel like 90% of the time people are not intentionally trying to offend you/hurt you/aren't even aware that they have done so.  Is it annoying?  Of course it is-people being inconsiderate of those around them is a HUGE pet-peeve of mine, but then again, I'm sure I've unknowingly hurt/annoyed someone too so again, let's give the benefit of the doubt.

It's really hard but we can't react to people like this and sink to their level.  Let them yell/be rude and you stay calm.  Trust me, yelling back won't make you feel any better.  I was so proud of a friend who had this happen to her-kept cool, was extremely professional even when the other person was CLEARLY in the wrong.

So let's spread some KINDNESS- pass it forward, maybe if people see us setting good examples: saying please, thank you and smiling at people we can bring a lil more goodwill into the system