Tuesday, September 17, 2013

I may be a Generation Y but I'm no "Yuppy"

So I read the following article from a link a friend posted on facebook:
Generation Y
feel free to peruse it.
It was really interesting, and actually, it's a topic that Code and I have discussed before at length.  First, I want to say that I liked most of the points that the article made and there are a lot of Generation Yers who do struggle with these issues.  I know the article isn't labeling ALL generation Yers as this type of "yuppy" as they were so called in the article, but there are also some points that these types of articles tend to leave out that kind of bug me.

First of all, I feel like these types of articles are written by the generation before ours, and I feel like it turns into a dumping party.  The economy sucks and unemployment is way high so let's blame the Generation below ours-those lazy, good-for-nothing kids! (said in a grumpy old man voice.)  I feel like every generation likes to put down the generation after it.  I'm sure the Baby Boomer generation's parents complained about how easy their kids had it cause they didn't have to fight in a major war/go through a depression etc.  Though I have no proof-I tried to look to see who wrote the article but couldn't find anything- I feel like it's always an older generation writing these things and that kind of bugs me.

Secondly, I find it ironic that most of the people writing these books/articles that point out all of Generation Y's flaws are the exact people who RAISED Generation Yers....can you say conflict of interest?  Bitter much? (jk) but really, you can't really point to an overwhelming social trend in a generation, and as a parent, claim 0 responsibility.  Our parents DID tell us that we could do anything, have anything, that we were special etc.  Now, is it good to fill your kids' heads with dreams?  Yes, as long as you also equally hit the importance of hard work and starting somewhere/working your way up etc.  My parents did.  While, yes I know I can do anything-I know it only works as long as I put in the necessary work.

Thirdly, I think it's very important to realize how much has changed in the economy/job market/career world from our parents' (baby boomer) generation to ours.  It's a COMPLETELY different world.  Frankly, in this job market, it is naive to think that you can have the same job for 50+ years.  It just doesn't happen like that anymore.  Now, if you can find a job that fulfills you and makes you better in your field for that long- kuddos, but not having the same job for 50 years is not necessarily a bad thing.

 Here's a story: My husband got a great job out of college.  He worked hard, he studied information systems (web development/technology etc.) and got a combined bachelors/master's degree in it.  We got offered a job with ExxonMobil right out of college.  We felt very blessed and were very grateful. We realized a lot of people have trouble finding work out of college and again, were very grateful.  (May I just say it helps having a husband who's a wizard in a very hot field now-technology).

 Now, you have to know my husband in order to understand the following story.  He has a lot of aspirations (typical, apparently, of generation Yers).  His ultimate dream is to start his own company(ies) in the tech world.  In college he made/sold some software with a friend and they made a legitimate business out of it with clients and everything.  He's a hard worker, creative, and a go-getter with good ideas.  He's good at what he does-a lot of people don't really realize how good he is because we all, being so immersed in technology these days, think we know what it's all about/how it works because we know a few terms like html, clicking, double-clicking etc.  I stress the word THINK here.  (it's actually a pet-peeve of his when he tells people what he does, simplifying it of course, and they respond with a, "oh my younger brother makes websites-cool"  as if they're even close to being on the same level.)

 Anywho, he gets a job in the IT department at ExxonMobil.  We move to Houston.  It's all great.  Within the first month he quickly realized that the environment/priorities/goals of his company were NOT conducive to helping realize his own career goals- in gaining the necessary skills/experience etc to get where he eventually wanted to be.  It makes sense looking back-it was a big corporate company.  Now, is there anything wrong with working for a big corporate company where you put on a suit and tie and go into work the same time every day, day after day?  Of course not! Millions earn good money that way.
 But it wasn't right for us.  You see, Code wanted to be on the cutting edge of technology where he could use his skills and gain new ones.  Exxon didn't care about his skills- at a company like Exxon they are not interested in the cutting edge-the IT part of their company is NOT their focus-they could care less about IT, they, naturally, care about the oil side and making money-which is fine.  It just wasn't a good fit.
Now, when we told certain people about our desires to find something else (after sticking with Exxon Mobil for over a year-a year of Code being miserable) we were surprised to find that we were being judged regularly.  It seemed that whoever we talked to about this (typically baby boomer generations) suggested that "oh, it's just the beginning-you can work your way up and find something that you like better-you just have to put in the grunt work now etc." As though Code was being lazy/didn't want to work/expected to be president on the first day-which wasn't the case, he's a hard worker.

 The problem was, Code went to regular meetings/conferences where he'd meet and talk/ask questions with the higher-ups on his side of the company- the VP of technology etc.  And after meeting and listening to these people and learning about the different departments that were available to him-nothing was interesting to him or what he wanted.  But again, we repeatedly would get the vibe that people thought us ungrateful and self-entitled just because we dared to want more for Code's career/ because the paycheck wasn't enough for us.
I know that in the previous generations millions of people went to work day in and day out and hated it/were miserable, but did it because they were men and they loved their families and wanted to provide for them, and that's great.  I just don't think that there is anything wrong with finding a job that provides for your family and makes you happy.  Think about it.  People who are out in the work force spend half of their lives, maybe more, working there....I don't think it's too much to ask to at least to somewhat enjoy your job/or having it be something that can make you a better person in your chosen field.  Now, if you personally don't care/have aspirations for your career and just want the paycheck that's fine-but don't judge those who want more.

 If cody had stayed at Exxon he would have been set for life, sure, but it would almost be like taking the easy way out-would we be financially set?  yes, but he would have been miserable, all of his technological skills would have atrophied and eventually would have become obsolete making it IMPOSSIBLE for him to work anywhere else-he would be indebted to Exxon and depend on them for his job, and he simply didn't want to allow that to happen.
We dared to find something that could feed our family AND help Code realize his career aspirations, and it worked.

We're in Utah now working for Vivint-a new up and coming company- and Code couldn't be happier.  Now, do we think we'll be with Vivint for the rest of our lives?  Probably not, just cause THAT IS THE NATURE OF THE TECH WORLD NOW.  If you go into an interview with one company on your resume, that's it, it would NOT be very impressive.  But if you go in and have decent length stints at multiple cutting edge companies with a diversification of projects/skills that you gained/used over the years you'll wow them.  The tech world moves to fast to stay in the same place for a super long time and there's nothing wrong with that.   It's different, but not worse/bad.

I know older generations struggle with change and so they see it as being lazy, self-entitled, how dare you want more than a paycheck!  Well....you said I could have more, so don't be surprised when that's my goal.

Now, of course, i'm not condoning 20-somethings who are STILL living at home, refusing to take any job because it's not good enough etc.  You have to work.  You have to grow up, but if you can manage to find something that you are passionate about-good for you,you go for it.  I don't think it's too much to ask to enjoy your job-life is meant to be LIVED and ENJOYED, and it's us crazy aspiring Generation Yers who are the entrepreneurs of tomorrow daring to take risks and make job opportunities so you baby boomers can relax and retire.  You're welcome.


Sunday, September 15, 2013

The weekend from heck

Our weekend started and ended well...so I guess really, it was the saturday from heck.  Friday we went to Gardner's Village up in South Jordan (a cute lil shopping village/crafty/ok ok, girly-but code loves me).  They had started their witchapalooza thing they do every year where there are halloween decorations everywhere and life size witches throughout the village etc.  On Oct 4 there is a witch 5k where you can dress up like a witch and run it-it's at night and apparently the course is all decorated for halloween which I think would be really fun....so stay tuned on that...

We ate at a really yummy lil bakery-they had a good chicken salad sandwich and, of course, jake is satisfied as long as they have crackers-I know, picky.




I tried to get some pics of the witches around the village but the lighting wasn't great...





I couldn't pick one cause these were all so cute and totally out of character for jake to smile-I think I broke his smiler in his first 8 mo of life cause he hasn't had the patience to look up and smile lately.









there's a lil water feature near the mill and a cute bridge to take you over to some other stores.


there is a rich out on a raft on the river but you can't really see it.


a firefighting witch blasting the roof over the bridge.


Later that night Liz stopped by for the night and Code got a much needed haircut-yes, that's hair not a small dog... (it's crazy how much hair he has...)


All and all it was a great Friday night which was good cause it needed to makeup for the following day.


So Saturday started out like any other saturday.  The morning went smoothly, everything was normal, and then I was making lunch for Jake.  I thought to myself: man, I feel bad that the only sandwich Jake gets is a cheese one-he likes it, but I'm bored for him.  Then I realize hey, he's over a year we can try out peanut butter now.  So I make him a peanut butter and honey sandwich and cut it up all small for him.  He took his first bite and seemed to like it and proceeded to eat 2 or 3 more quickly, but then after a minute or 2 started crying which isn't normal.  And it wasn't a fussy cry like when he doesn't like a food, this was a "I'm in pain" kind of cry.  I take away the remaining pieces and start giving him plain bread and water to wash it down but he continues to be upset.  He starts to rub at his eye and since we hadn't trimmed his nails in a lil bit he scratches himself (not to where you could see/or it bled) but whatever was on his fingers def made those scratches swell up, like when I do when a dog scratches me.  

My heart sank.  Crap.  He's having a reaction.  within 10 minutes he has some raised bumps around his eyes where he's been scratching and it's all red.  I run to walgreens to get some children's benadryl while code looked up on a pediatric's site what the proper dosage was.  Once we got home and gave it to him his face cleared pretty quickly.  I knew it wasn't over tho, cause he had eaten 3 or 4 pieces with the peanut butter/honey and that had yet to go through his system yet.  

Sure enough 40 minutes later once he had started digesting it he got big hives and a general red rash all over.  He was so miserable trying to itch himself.  We had already given him benadryl so there wasn't much else we could do.  I was watching him close though ready to run him to the ER should he have trouble breathing etc.  I read online that anaphylaxis is rare in infants (prolly since this is their first exposure and it takes a few to get that bad).  It was scary and I'm general the one to freak out and over react/assume the worst when these things happen, but for some reason I felt calm and felt that we should wait it out.  This being NOT like my usual MO I trusted it and that God was helping me to know what to do.  

We got him to eat a little and he was really tired from the meds so we put him down for a nap (checking every so often) and when he woke up the hives were down a bit.  5 minutes after he woke up he threw up.  This was probably a couple of hours after he ate lunch.  At first my reaction was to freak out but then I felt calm again and felt that that's what needed to happen-his body was getting rid of what was causing the problem.  After he threw up he seemed to feel a lot better-was more interested in eating/drinking etc.  By dinner we gave him benadryl again and his hives were completely gone and his red rash was only on a few places on his body/not all over like before.  He was acting more like himself now-laughing and playing so I started to relax.  We checked on him throughout the night with a flashlight but he was always sleeping well with no signs of the hives returning.  He woke up clear this morning with only a light speckly rash around his elbows/knees so we gave him some more benadryl, but he seems to be nearly fully recovered.

It was definitely scary, but at the same time I trusted that if it was life threatening-I would feel it/God would let us know if we needed to act etc.  I guess our plan for now is to NOT expose him to either peanut butter or honey (both of which parents are warned to not give their kids before a year old because of possible allergy problems) again.  I'll tell his dr at our next check up what happened and we'll prolly wait 6 months and then have him tested before exposing him again/with his dr present etc.  I guess i'm not shocked that he reacted with code being allergic to nuts-but he's allergic to pine nuts not peanuts, but I guess anything's possible.

Now that we're back to normal around here we're enjoying our sunday.  In other far less stressful news I got a new flat iron/curling wand to play with/get used to so I'll be ready to style my hair after this saturday's cut ;)  I love me a new haircut/style.  I'm going shorter but not short-short.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

where has all the kindness gone?

So lately I've noticed that general kindness and goodwill isn't as apparent as I wish it were between people in general.  I guess I have to wait til Christmas to get me some.  Recently I've had people, who are very close to me, complain of instances where they were berated/yelled at/humiliated for prolonged periods of time by someone AT CHURCH in front of others.  I'm not just talking about some social slight either- we're talking: getting screamed at for an hour or more.

Are you kidding me????

 I mean, it's one thing if you have a fight with a friend/someone in the privacy of your own home (tho I still think that's weird), but really?  at church?

Call me crazy but I was encouraged to avoid conflict at all cost-even if I was mad/wanted to give them a piece of my mind.  I hold it in, say what I know I should say and then complain to code when I go home.  Some may say, well that's fake.  No, that's called being polite/having manners.  It takes self control and trying to rise above petty temporary emotions.

I feel like this kind of thing happens as someone's anger level builds over all of these perceived slights (that most likely aren't real) and then they lose it on someone.  Let's give people the benefit of the doubt.  I honestly feel like 90% of the time people are not intentionally trying to offend you/hurt you/aren't even aware that they have done so.  Is it annoying?  Of course it is-people being inconsiderate of those around them is a HUGE pet-peeve of mine, but then again, I'm sure I've unknowingly hurt/annoyed someone too so again, let's give the benefit of the doubt.

It's really hard but we can't react to people like this and sink to their level.  Let them yell/be rude and you stay calm.  Trust me, yelling back won't make you feel any better.  I was so proud of a friend who had this happen to her-kept cool, was extremely professional even when the other person was CLEARLY in the wrong.

So let's spread some KINDNESS- pass it forward, maybe if people see us setting good examples: saying please, thank you and smiling at people we can bring a lil more goodwill into the system