Time flies when you're making the biggest adjustment of your life...

Hard to believe but Jacob will be five weeks old tomorrow.  He gets blessed in our church next sunday! I just barely ordered his blessing outfit so hopefully it gets here in time and hopefully it's not too ridiculously big on him.

we stopped by the pediatrician's the other day to make sure his regular backed-up tear duct wasn't actually pink eye (it isn't), but while we were there we weighed him.  When he was born he was 7.6.  When we left the hospital he was 7 even.  When we went to the dr's for the first time just a few days later he was down to 6.11.  Yeah, we had trouble with feedings in the beginning and keeping him awake etc.  We went back after a week and he was back up to 7 lbs.  Three weeks later (two days ago) when they weighed him again he was 9.11- Booyah!

At his previous check up he was down in the 25% when it came to weight but now he's up around the 50%! I won't lie I was very proud.  I mean, we knew he was gaining cause he has much rounder cheeks, thighs, etc though he's still not a lil budah or anything.  The dr said that he would be tempted to say that jacob is chubby with the percentile of his weight gain but he still doesn't look fat like some babies do, so he thinks that Jacob has grown taller too-must have had a crazy growth spurt or something.  We'll go back for his two month check up and I'll be excited to get all his stats and percentiles etc (tho not looking forward to the shots and the aftermath).

 

---WARNING! The following is about breastfeeding and is prolly entirely TMI for most of you unless you're a mom and have been there, in that case I welcome all advice and general encouragement--- (i'll put it in a diff color so those of you who don't want to hear about it can skip to the end)

 

Speaking of feedings-it has been quite the roller coaster.  I won't go into too much detail cause let's face it, breastfeeding is just plain awkward unless it's you and your kid....and always awkward if you're a guy haha, but from the beginning Jacob struggled to latch on.  In the hospital the lacatation consultant came by but jacob was in the nursery at the time so it wasn't super helpful.  Another nurse after watching us trying to feed suggested we try using a shield to make it easier for jacob to latch on (basically looks like a latex top of a bottle that you just put over yourself that gives them more to latch onto).  It seemed to work and at least I could sleep at night knowing that he was able to get the milk he needed now.  Once we got home in the first week we got together with a friend of my mom's who is a consultant with the la leche league (organization that promotes breastfeeding and helps moms out for free to get it down).  After watching us try to latch without the shield and then watching him eat with the shield she said that for now the shield was a necessary crutch but that with time as he grew bigger and my body adjusted he'd be able to eat without it, but for now at least he was getting the milk he needed and could gain weight which is what the dr wants etc.  She said not to worry cause we still had time-that babies are able to quickly adapt and learn new things fast in the first 6 weeks when it comes to breast feeding but after that their habits start to get set in stone and it's harder to introduce change etc.

Well now, finally Jacob and I have managed to make progress with breastfeeding without the shield. At first I would try to start with the shield and then once he got started would take it off and we'd try to latch without it.  After awhile tho I worried that that would just be more confusing for him going back and forth and that we just needed to take the plunge.  So the past three days or so I have simply refused to use the shield.  It's been messy and he hasn't always been happy with me, but slowly but surely he has figured it out and the more often he figures it out at each feeding the quicker he is able to figure it out at the next one.  I really feel like he's learning the technique he needs to feed which is awesome.  On the not so awesome side of things, since we pretty much used the shield from the get go, it's like i'm breastfeeding for the first time and am dealing with all the soreness that goes along with it.  Hopefully I'll toughen up though and will get used to it in the next little while.

On another slightly frustrating note-the past few days jacob has been eating great without the shield but starting last night and still going on today his interest to feed for very long has disappeared.  He'll latch on eventually and maybe eat real good for, oh, tenish minutes and then he dozes off and no ammount of rocking, shaking, prodding, poking, tickling, even cold wet paper towels will wake him up enough to eat again.  In our breastfeeding class they said this happens early on (which even tho he's a month, we're basically beginners at breastfeeding now that we're going without the shield).  They said it's normal to have the baby doing really well with it and then all the sudden they regress for a few days but they'll pick it back up and keep progressing.

Not only is this frustrating cause I worry he's not getting enough (even tho he still has consistant wet diapers which I know is a good sign) I worry this will throw my supply off and then in a day or so when he snaps out of it and gets his appetite again I won't have the milk supply to fill his demand.  I hate this rocky cycle of demand and supply (that's right demand and supply-not supply and demand.  your milk comes in directly in relation to how much it is asked for by the baby and how much he eats-so it's good to let them suck away even if there's not any left cause it's like he's just putting in a future order for milk).  The only thing is if he doesn't put in much demand your supply goes down over time until he demands more of you etc...it just seems like we're never in sync with each other.  Either I'm trying to get him to eat a ton cause I have a lot but he's not interested or he's trying to eat like crazy and I don't have enough for him and he gets frustrated.

I know it all balances out over time and it'll all work out, just is frustrating.  I just have to keep reminding myself that he's not starving-heck he's gained almost a pound per week for the past three weeks so even if he drops a little as we figure this out that's ok-he'll survive.

Anywho, it'll all be worth it when we're both well adjusted and can confidentally get full feedings 100% of the time without the shield, but no matter what I'm not going back to it-such a hassle.

In a weird way though as I was thinking about the process of breastfeeding I sort of saw an application to the gospel-yeah...you get desperate for spirituality throughout your day when you can't go to church for a month.  But I was thinking, so breastfeeding is demand and supply...meaning the kid starts sucking even when there's nothing there having faith that it will come, but it won't come unless you start trying to drink-you have to act first to bring about the desired result.  It's the same with the gospel.  We all have leaps of faith where we know what we want and have been told-if you do this than this will happen/be the result, but we don't have any garauntee and sometimes it seems crazy, but if we act first and show our faith then the Lord can bless us, but only after we do our part.  Also, our blessings are contingent upon the us following the laws/commandments that they are predicated on.  So the more you live righteously and follow the commandments, the more blessings you'll receive in the long run-it's not always immediate.  It's like that scripture in the bible somewhere that talks about how you get out of it what you put into it-if you fill your cup/container half-full than you'll get half a container's worth of blessings, but if you fill it up brimming over with big heaping ammounts than that's the kind of return you can expect from the Lord etc.

ok, it's safe to come back those who don't want to read about that stuff.

here's some recent pics of our bouncing baby boy! And here's to hoping that he gets back on a regular eating schedule soon cause let's face it it effects EVERYTHING else-especially his sleep :)

I have to say tho, Code has been an amazing supportive voice of reason through all the ups and downs of this first month and I'm SO grateful for him and his patience and willingness to help out anytime day or night.

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