If only...

I was glancing through my mission journals today, and all I can think is if only....
I'm glad that I kept them because honestly I really don't remember much-a complete a blur, but when I start to read the different entries it all comes flooding back.  It's like i can even feel the atmosphere of the mission and russia-kind of an intense feeling...not bad, just intense.  I don't know if it's code and I teaching mission prep these past few months but I can't help but think....oh man if I could only do it again-I'd do it sooo much better.  I'd handle things soo much better.  Maybe that's why they encourage us to serve missions once we're older-can put our life-earned wisdom to good use.

I can't wait to go on missions with Code-how awesome would that be?? I'd have the best companion ever! It'd be so much fun and so rewarding to teach/testify together every day!  That's really the only thing that can throw a major wrench in the works on the mission (in my opinion).  Cause you'll always face opposition or rude people/rejection etc, but as long as you have a tight companion and know that you have each other's backs and can work well together and help make the work fun-stay positive, it's all golden.  But if you have contention in the companionship/can't seem to find a good rhythm together-forget it, it's REALLY hard to stay positive and enjoy the work. (luckily I didn't struggle too much with this issue on the mish).

Not that I would seek after it or expect it, but I've always thought it would be so cool to serve as mission presidents-missionary work is so awesome and the chance to help move the work forward and touch their lives?- pretty cool....of course, I can say this pretty lightly seeing as most of the actual work would be done by code-haha but I just think it's cool to be so close to the work which is why I love our mission prep class.  They're starting a sunday morning class that we'll teach/oversee for those youth who are preparing now but still going to mutual/are busy on weeknights.  I know, pretty crazy how many callings we have and sometimes it's hard/frustrating, but I guess we need the blessings :)

I like how it is teaching me that though taking care of lil jake is important-it's not the end all of my existence and I can still contribute to the world, and it's teaching us how to fit jake into our lives rather than him becoming our lives which I think is a good thing.

A funny excerpt from my mission journal-towards the end of my mission in Rostov serving with Sister Piko:
"Today was eventful....we got in 2 times=good.  I almost got kissed by a creepy 30 yr-old man= not so good.   So we were trying to get in to a podyez (stairwell) and this guy kept telling us it wasn't worth it etc, but we said "pusmohtreem" (we'll see).  We get in and go knock and get in.  Then later this guy came in-apparently was friends with the lady we were teaching.  So we do our shpeel and then we leave and he leaves with us as we go down to the next floor and he is still talking to us.  We hint that we need to keep knocking/talking etc and he goes to hug me it seems, but then says "moshnuh tselavaht?" (can I kiss you?) and TOTALLY goes in for it-not waiting for a response! and panicking, I turn my head and he totally followed me and I finally managed to get out "neelzya nahm!" (we're not allowed) and he finally backed off, and turned to sister Piko who had these huge eyes and quickly stuck out her hand for him to shake.  He muttered "no lahdnuh" (oh alright) and left.  We stood there in shock  trying not to laugh.  I couldn't get his face (all close with puckered lips) out of my mind-shudder!"

never a dull moment in the rostov mission....